By Wendy Strgar
“We must embrace pain and burn it as fuel for our journey.” -Kenji Miyazawa
The relationship between pain and pleasure in human sexuality is as profound as it is complex. It is a polarity that lives in each of us and deserves our curiosity. Sadly, it is not unusual for us to close down to situations that we fear will bring pain and discomfort. Replacing our tendency of avoidance with a capacity for wonder when it comes to our pain associations with sex is eye opening and has the potential to release an untapped capacity for pleasure.
Each time I have sex I am struck by the ecstatic release of deep pleasure, which ignites an equal release of intense pain. The pelvic cavity, one of the most miraculous wonders in the human body, balancing both the capacity to walk erect and procreate, is a truth teller for most of us. It is an internal space where sensation is leader and I have long wondered what begets what, if it is actually the intensity of the pain that arouses the pleasure or the other way around. So difficult it is to tease out, that I have come to believe that the pain/pleasure of our deepest sexual release is one in the same.